A year ago. . .

A little over a year ago today, we lost a pregnancy. I am now about to give birth to a little baby boy . . . any week now. I learned a huge lesson from that trial. I feel prompted to share it. It was a talk I wrote a year ago - but only had 2 1/2 min to give. This is for any friend who may suffer similar problems. Most of all I learned #1 The STRENGTH of a marriage and #2 HOW to turn over such a trial to the Savior, and allow Him to take away the pain.

This will be in the past tense, since it is copying the talk/journal entry.

President Hinkley referred to a temple marriage as "a Gift, precious beyond all others".

Recently we lost a pregnancy. It was very difficult for me. My hubby works long hours and I found myself very alone. I tried to be happy and positive, but I was alone.

I knew that I needed my Savior and I needed to be healed. I honestly have a testimony that He can and will take away all of our pain and heartache. The problem was I wasn't entirely sure HOW to give this pain to my Savior - But Mostly - I wasn't ready to give it up. I think I was almost punishing myself with the hurt.

I tried talking with my friends, but it didn't ease my pain.

One night I simply poured out my heart to my husband. I said much the same things that I did to my girlfriends . . . but this time it was different. ALmost instantly, I felt a huge relief in my hurt. I think a lot of it transfered to my husband, because I could see it in his eyes. Together we yolked this trial and burden and together we will get through it.

I learned some great lessons from that night.

#1 My husband is not only my best friend, but partner. I realized how strong our bond truly is. I realized that I needed HIM, more than I needed my friends, or even my mother. This was OUR trial. HE could only empathize with me. WE could do it together better than apart.

I now understand with more clarity a statement made by Elder Howard a few conferences ago.

" If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by."

He was talking about his wife's silverware and relating it to eternal marriage. As I read it now, I can only think of the way my husband lovingly cares for and protects me. How he helped to polish me until I gleamed like new again. Because he has made it so, it has grown more precious and beautiful as time goes by. He helped make me whole again.

The second lesson I learned was HOW to GIVE that burden to my Savior. Much like I did with my husband, I needed to sit and my Saviors feet and pour out my soul to Him. ALL my aches, pains, frustrations, feelings of inadequacy. I needed to leave my burdens at His feet, so that He could pick them up. And pick me up too. He already bought those pains, for me and for you. He has paid the price, He wants to help us.

And much like my husband helped to yolk this trial with me, My Savior will do the same. Just as I could see my hurt transfer to my husband, my Savior can take that hurt from me. My Savior can truly empathize because He HAS felt my pain. Just as I realized the strength of the relationship of my husband and I, I am truly grateful for my "other" Best Friend. I know that my understanding of the Atonement is limited, but I learned a huge lesson of how to allow the Savior to heal you from more than just sin, but from heartache and pain as well.

"Mine eyes have yet to behold His glory, but I know that He lives, for my heart has felt His presence." This is one of my favorite quotes. I know Jesus Christ lives, I know that He can heal all pain. I know because I have felt His loving arms encircle me at times when I could not stand, but only kneel. I am thankful for this knowledge.